学术干货丨SCI论文写作系列——写作语言必须get的十点技能

【前言】

因为写作语言是一个具有比较多注意事项的方面，因此，我从很多网站和书上引用了相关内容，这里作为一个总结，我会不断更新这部分内容，给大家作为参考。内容来源：writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/ClearConciseSentences.html 

【正文】

一.如何写出简洁的语句

注意：这部分内容不是对全文都适用的，而是对那些需要简洁语句的部分。在不需要简洁的部分，下面的内容可能还是使文章不会用词过于单调的办法，注意区别使用

1.使用主动语态

在写学术论文时，尽可能使用主动语态。被动语态通常需要更多的词，而且可能导致逻辑混乱。

主动被动语态举例：

主动: The candidate believes that Congress must place a ceiling on the budget.

被动: It is believed by the candidate that a ceiling must be placed on the budget by Congress.

注意：如果句子的主语是匿名的，尝试选一个一般的术语，比如“researchers,”“the study,”“experts in this field.”

什么时候使用被动语态：

（1）强调某一个行为而不是执行者

After long debate, the proposal was endorsed by the long-range planning committee.

（2）为了使文章的主语和焦点保持一致

The data processing department recently presented what proved to be a controversial proposal to expand its staff. After long debate, the proposal was endorsed by. . . .

（3）不想指出作者姓名

The procedures were somehow misinterpreted.

（4）描述一个场景，实施者未知或不重要

Every year, thousands of people are diagnosed as having cancer.

（5）建立权威的语气

Visitors are not allowed after 9:00 p.m.

2.把行动放在动词中

好的：The committee has to approach it differently.

坏的：The establishment of a different approach on the part of the committee has become a necessity.

谨慎名词化：

名词化：An evaluation of the procedures needs to be done.

修改：We need to evaluate the procedures.

名词化：The procedures need to be evaluated.

修改：We need to evaluate the procedures.

名词化：The stability and quality of our financial performance will be developed through the profitable execution of our existing business, as well as the acquisition or development of new businesses.

修改：We will improve our financial performance not only by executing our existing business more profitably but by acquiring or developing new businesses.

3.减少冗余短语（在需要简洁表达的地方使用）

冗余：In a situation in which a class is overenrolled, you may request that the instructor force-add you.

简洁：When a class is overenrolled, you may ask the instructor to force-add you.

冗余：I will now make a few observations concerning the matter of contingency funds.

简洁：I will now make a few observations about contingency funds.

冗余：There is a need for more careful inspection of all welds.

简洁：You must inspect all welds more carefully. / Inspect all welds more carefully.

 可以使用下面的词语来减少冗余

（1）because, since, why来替代 
 
<1>the reason for 

<2>for the reason that 

<3>due to the fact that 

<4>owing to the fact that

<5>in light of the fact that

<6>considering the fact that

<7>on the grounds that

<8>this is why

（2）although, even, though来替代

<1>despite the fact that

<2>regardless of the fact that 

<3>notwithstanding the fact that

（3）if来替代

<1>in the event that

<2>if it should transpire/happen that

<3>under circumstances in which

（4）when来替代

<1>on the occasion of

<2>in a situation in which

<3>under circumstances in which

（5）about来替代

<1>as regards

<2>in reference to

<3>with regard to

<4>concerning the matter of

<5>where . . . is concerned

（6）must, should来替代

<1>it is crucial that

<2>it is necessary that

<3>there is a need/necessity for

<4>it is important that

<5>it is incumbent upon

<6>cannot be avoided

（7）can来替代

<1>is able to

<2>has the opportunity to

<3>is in a position to

<4>has the capacity for

<5>has the ability to

（8）may, might, can, could来替代  

<1>it is possible that

<2>there is a chance that

<3>it could happen that

<4>the possibility exists for

（9）before, after, as来替代

<1>prior to

<2>In anticipation of

<3>subsequent to

<4>following on

<5>at the same time as

<6>simultaneously with

4.减少冗余的动词

使用简洁，直接的动词

（1）knows来替代is aware, has knowledge of

（2）takes来替代is taking

（3）suggests来替代are suggestive

（4）indicate来替代are indications

5.减少不必要的介词短语

有时候，介词短语不是必要的。避免在一句话中使用过多的介词短语

不必要的介词短语：The opinion of the manager

修改：The manager's opinion

不必要的介词短语：The obvious effect of such a range of reference is to assure the audience of the author's range of learning and intellect.

修改：The wide-ranging references in this talk assure the audience that the author is intelligent and well-read.

不必要的介词短语：It is a matter of the gravest possible importance to the health of anyone with a history of a problem with disease of the heart that he or she should avoid the sort of foods with a high percentage of saturated fats.

修改：Anyone with a history of heart disease should avoid saturated fats.

6.减少虚字结构

常见的虚字结构比如it is，there is，there are

尽量少用这种结构，因为它会使句子的主语和行为模糊

虚字结构：It was her last argument that finally persuaded me.

修改：Her last argument finally persuaded me.

虚字结构：There are likely to be many researchers raising questions about this methodological approach.

修改：Many researchers are likely to raise questions about this methodological approach.

虚字结构：It is inevitable that oil prices will rise.

修改：Oil prices will inevitably rise.

7.避免使用模糊的名词

尽量避免使用下面的模糊的，所有都能表示的名词

（1）Factor （2）aspect （3）area （4）situation （5）consideration （6）degree （7）case

模糊名词：Consumer demand is rising in the area of services.

精确：Consumers are demanding more services.

模糊名词：Strong reading skills are an important factor in students' success in college.

精确：Students' success in college depends on their reading skills.

模糊名词：Photography took on new aspects during the Civil War.

精确：The Civil War saw the advent of graphic battlefield photography.

8.避免使用生僻的词

如果一个简单的短语可以和生僻的词取得同样的效果，要尽量避免使用生僻的词

生僻：cognizant of               简单：aware of, knows

生僻：facilitate                     简单：help

生僻：impact on                   简单：affect

生僻：implement                  简单：start, create, carry out, begin

生僻：subsequent to            简单：after

生僻：utilize                          简单：use

7.避免使用名词串

除非读者对你的术语熟悉，否则避免使用连续的名词

名词串：MHS has a hospital employee relations improvement program.

修改：MHS has a program to improve relations among employees.

名词串：NASA continues to work on the International Space Station astronaut living-quarters module development project.

修改：NASA is still developing the module that will provide living quarters for the astronauts aboard the International Space Station.

内容来源：《How to write and submit an academic paper in 18 weeks》 Steve Wallac

二、主动语态和被动语态

1.什么是主动语态？

主动语态强调行为的实施者，主动语态是清晰的，直接的，简洁的，没有歧义的

举例：Smith et al. investigated the relationship

2.什么是被动语态？

被动语态强调行为的接收者，被动语态是不直接的，冗余的。通过使用一定的被动语态，可以改变句式

举例：The relationship was investigated by Smith et al.

被动语态还经常容易犯错误，比如垂悬修饰语（修饰语在句中找不到逻辑上被修饰的对象）

垂悬修饰语：To investigate the source of nutrients, eggshell membranes were compared

修改：To investigate the source of nutrients, the study compared eggshell membranes

垂悬修饰语：After analyzing the samples, the plants were measured daily

修改：After analyzing the samples, the research measured the plants daily

3.主动和被动语态的比较

主动语态是大部分学术论文杂志中建议尽可能多使用的，因为它通常更简短，易于理解。虽然杂志建议尽可能多的使用主动语态，但是，没有建议所有语句都用主动语态，所以问题的关键是平衡这两种语态

使用被动语态的理由：

1）行为的实施者未知，不相关或者显而易见

举例：

<1>Up to 90% of the energy in light bulbs is wasted in the form of heat

作者无法将实施者的名字表示出来

<2>The first edition of Tom's earliest writings on dreams was published in 1899

作者假设读者对出版商不感兴趣

<3>Drosophila melanogaster has been one of the most extensively studied species in genetics research

实施者显而易见（研究者）

2）行为比实施者更重要

当在方法部分讨论实验步骤时，通常使用被动语态，因为读者会假设作者就是该实验的实施者，而这通常也是事实，用主动语态并不会使得句子更加明白，而且会转移焦点，同时使用主动语态意味着要使用大量的“we”，会使得句子不连贯。

3）接收者是主要话题

接收者是主要话题时，有必要把重要的关键信息放在句子的开头或者结尾进行强调。同时，在连接前面的句子时，用被动语态才能使得这个主题的叙述连贯

举例：We wish to suggest a structure for the salt and deoxyribose nucleic acid. This structure has novel features which are of considerable biological interest. A structure for nucleic acid has already been proposed by Paling and Corey.

三.下面两个句子在中文中很常见，但是在英文中要避免使用

（1）因为... 所以 ...

（2）虽然... 但是 ...

下面两个语句就是错误的：

（1）Because I am curious about the Golden Age of Mexican cinema, so I listen to Pedro Infante's music.

（2）Although I listen to Bollywood music, but I do not understand Hindi.

上面两句话可以改为

（1.1）Because I am curious about the Golden Age of Mexican cinema, I listen to Pedro Infante's music.

（2.1）Although I listen to Bollywood music, I do not understand Hindi.

或者

（1.2）I am curious about the Golden Age of Mexican cinema, so I listen to Pedro Infante's music.

（2.2）I listen to Bollywood music, but I do not understand Hindi.

四、要避免使用不完整的比较

作者经常会认为读者知道被比较的东西是哪两个因而没有明确地指出。当比较两个东西的时候，要在同一句话中提到它们。名词和名词比，动词和动词比，不要拿名词和动词比，否则可能带来歧义。

所有完整的比较语句都包含主语，动词，比较修饰语，连接词“than”（或其他表明比较的短语）和从句（可选）

错误：The finance department focuses on profits more than the X department.

修改：The finance department focuses on profits more than the X department does.

错误：Country A funds high-tech innovation more than country B

修改：Country A funds high-tech innovation more than country B does

错误：The device formulated in this experiment exhibits higher luminance.

修改：The device formulated in this experiment exhibits higher luminance than conventional models do.

错误：Girls scores were higher than boys

修改：Girls scores were higher than those of boys

五、把动词变为名词

学术作者喜欢动词，因为名词笨重，并且不表达行为，而动词可以展示发生了什么。当把动词转化为名词的时候，必须加入一些无意义的动词来使得句子完整，如undertaken, occurred, achieved, made, done等

原始：Enumeration of three reasons why the English language has become so important was made by Thompson.

修改：Thompson enumerated three reasons why the English language has become so important.

原始：Discussion of the challenges and strategies for facilitation and promotion of ERP was performed by Smith.

修改：Smith discussed the challenges and strategies for facilitating and promoting ERP.

原始：Criticism of the new policies has also been made by non-government agencies.

修改：Non-government agencies have also been critical of the new policies.

六.在学术写作中使用“大词”

许多作者使用“大词”在他们的文章中，因为他们认为这可以使得他们的写作看起来更学术化，然而，通常会发现这样的句子冗长，紊乱，不易理解。因为这些“大词”通常是对动词和形容词的名词化

原始：Anobligation is placed by the law on the citizens of the country for the correct performance of the administration of their income records.

修改：The law obliges the citizens of the country to administer their income records correctly.

原始：The avoidance of the introduction or the removal of toxins from rivers by industry leads to the improvement of the integrity of the environment and is beneficial to human health.

修改：Industries that avoid introducing or that remove toxins from rivers improve the integrity of the environment and benefit human health.

如果你的文章已经完成了，可以通过下面几个步骤进行寻找并修改

（1）寻找名词化前面的词，比如“the”

（2）寻找弱的动词，比如“to be”

原始：The participants who are giving assistance with the formulation of policy ideas are in agreement with the researcher to offer their view.

修改：Those who assist with formulation policy ideas agree with the researcher to offer their views.

（3）寻找以“-ization”或者“-tion”结尾的名词

七、建立强的动词

技术文章作者通常更喜欢强动词，强动词就是用一个单词来表示行动，如compare, consider, indicate。弱动词需要更多的词来表示一个行动，如 make a comparison, give consideration to, give indication of
 
原始：Smith asks the questions as to whether conventional methods offer the best environment for execution.

修改：Smith questions whether conventional methods offer the best environment for execution.

原始：Smith makes use of examples of these various techniques to prove that innovation continues.

修改：Smith uses examples of these various techniques to prove that innovation continues.

八、“Argue”“Indicate”“Demonstrate”的区分

很多作者在写论文的时候，把indicate和demonstrate作为argue的同义词替换，这是有问题的，他们不是完全等价的。

当涉及到之前的研究中的观点，使用argue

而indicate和demonstrate通常用来描述事实或者已经被证明无可争议

argue还可以用来避免听起来对结果犹豫不定。比如“may indicate”“may suggest”“may demonstrate”都可以被argue加强

原始：The results may indicate that climatic change caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

修改：We argue that climatic change caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

九、避免以“It”和“There”开始句子

不要在每句话开头都用“It”和“There”。在科技论文的写作中，最好是把主语放在开头的位置，而不是放在“it”形成的从句中间，这样能使得文章更易读。避免使用这种以“It”和“There”开始的句子，比如

（1）It is known that ... （2）It is considered that ... （3）It demonstrates that ... （4）It could be said that ... （5）It follows that ...

原始：It is possible that participants between the ages of 18 and 19 responded differently than those between the ages of 20 and 21.

修改：Participants between the ages of 18 and 19 may have responded differently than participants between the ages of 20 and 21.

原始：There is a need for implementation of the policy on a large scale by the president of the association.

修改：The association president must implement the policy on a larger scale.

原始：It could happen that a decision to modify the model is made by the researcher.

修改：The research may decide to modify the model.

原始：There is a necessity for a semi-structured approach to be chosen.

修改：A semi-structured approach must be chosen.

原始：It was vital that quantitative measures would usefully supplement and extend the qualitative analysis.

修改：Quantitative measures must usefully supplement and extend the qualitative analysis.

原始：It is necessary that the best method to adopt for this investigation is determined by the committee.

修改：The committee must decide the best method to adopt for this investigation.

十、主动动词

在写作的时候，我们经常用类似“show”“deal with”这种万能词，但是在一篇文章中，这样的词使用的越多，就越没有意义。如果你能选择一个意义更明确的词表示，也就是主动动词，就不要用这种万能动词。比如将“Chen dealt with”和“Figure 1 shows”表达成“Chen hypothesized”和“Figure 1 represents”意义变得更加明确

在下列情况中应该选择主动动词

1.当你准备文献综述的时候，需要用简要，明确的术语来描述其他人的研究时

Phillip Chang proposes a mechanism explaining increased silica solubility in the presence of two small organic acids.

2.当你解释你自己的实验研究，需要解释观察到的趋势时

The results of this study challenge findings from studies about analytic concentration varying with sample location.

3.当你进行客观陈述，需要预测信息的时候

This study characterizes wetlands by their water chemistry and postulates that water chemistry varies with water source and wetland type.

4.当你涉及到某幅图，表或公式，需要定义该图，表或公式的目的

Figure 4 depicts grain growth that occurred after the ceramic was sintered for three hours.

下面的单词列表在写论文的时候，随时查看

描述研究或者分析思维的主动动词

yield    illustrate    illuminate    reveal    employ    mean     suggest     clarity    indicate   represent    prove    insist    propose     imply      assert    postulate    consider   infer   state extrapolate    estimate   define   classify   invoke   analyze    compare    hypothesize   synthesize   summarize   disagree   generalize  narrate   evaluate    simplify   measure   note   predict    introduce    report    construe   challenge   delineate  depict   interpret    provide   acknowledge   distinguish   inform   specify   restrict   determine   detail   sum up   designate point out    set forth     deduce    derive   characterize    guide    maintain   believe   speculate   present    organize    investigate   assess     determine    calculate    support    devise    construct      evaluate     attribute    obtain    assume    argue    reiterate    discover   decide

描述现象的主动动词

discharge    overlie    emanate    radiate    scatter    exchange    separate    surround    combine    eliminate    emit    transmit    carry    bombard    exert    exude    interact    behave    exchange    absorb     converge    extend    constrain    force    elongate    contract    trend    plunge    occur    fracture    continue    mix    slow    quicken    produce    bond    interlock    fuse    deteriorate    migrate    encompass    access    traverse    join    dominate    deposit    underline    overlap    originate    isolate    invade    permeate    evolve    divide    sinter    reclaim    restore    abandon    contain    accrue    precede    influence    saturate    circulate    forecast    orient    distribute    allow    lag    terminate    activate    cease    record    form    transect    condense    enrich    invert    convert    alter    link    superimpose    rotate    rupture    streamline    appear    require    ascend    descend    collapse    superpose    crystallize    bisect    cede    coalesce    disperse    disseminate    disintegrate    propel    repel    accelerate    transfer    penetrate    halt    curb

本文转载自简书作者情天寄傲，材料牛石小梅编辑整理。